With the year almost being done, I thought it'd be nice to look back on how this year was for me.

I mean for one, my site improved much better than from the start of the year. This is how it was at the end of 2024:

And this is how it looks like now:

I'm currently happy with how the site looks, but let's see how much it'll change in a year (I do have a few changes planned for the homepage, but I don't know about the other stuff)
Also I'm surprised how I'm almost at 100 followers! I personally don't care that much about the follower count (it also doesn't really do much), but it's nice to see how many people like my stuff. It's also weird to think how I'm currently at the top of page 2 of the most followed sites on Nekoweb. But I'm still very thankful for it!

This year I also changed my name, both online and offline! In June I legally transitioned, which was a huge step! No longer do I need to see my deadname written everywhere!! Though since I'm still not on HRT (which for some reason is really complicated for me, having to visit a few doctors and make a few appointments), I still get misgendered often times (even when they see my first name, which I never understood), though hopefully I can finally start HRT next year. Oh right, I also fully came out (at least I think I did to everyone, and that it has already been spread around in the family, but then I still sometimes hear that some people still don't know it for some reason...), and I've also been able to show more of my interests IRL, like with having more figures on my desk or a Miku keychain on my bag (though nobody IRL has said anything about it yet). And my hair has also gotten longer!!
And then I also finally decided to use a different name online! Before that I used my (now) real name online, but I thought it'd be better to have a different name online. But I realized just using my username was a bit of a mouthful, so after a few days of thinking I decided to go with the name Kona! Which I find fits me well!!

I also started publishing a story online: Stardust & Fox Ears (SFE)!! I love thinking of plot and stories, and wanted to write an original story. SFE (or at least the predecessor I worked on before, that also had completely different characters) was supposed to be a game (kind of like a RPG Maker game), then a visual novel, and then I scrapped the original idea and started working SFE, kinda inspired by the anime Mahoutsukai Precure! (which probably is one of my favorite anime of all time. It's also probably one of the best Yuri magic anime), but still with my spin on it. I still haven't discarded the original idea though, since I still like it, though couldn't really realize it back then. Maybe I can bring that idea back, like as a prequel to SFE.

Speaking of, I was kind of surprised how much fanart I got from my characters! I never thought other people would want to draw my characters, but I guess I was wrong! I also participated in Art Fight for the first time this year, and that was also a nice experience! Outside of Art Fight I've also started drawing other people's OCs, and that's also nice!
I'm thankful for every drawing I get, and I hope I can make others happy with art I draw for them too! :3

And I think that were the most important things that happened this year for me. It sometimes doesn't feel like much happened this year, but looking back, a few things did happen. Many things in fact when it comes to my online life. Except IRL, where outside of legal and social transition nothing else really changed. I still went to university, did my stuff there, including presentations that were anxious but got better for me (one of them was even about the indie web, which I haven't mentioned until now for some reason).
Looking at the goals I had set at the start of the year, I didn't really manage most of them. And I guess that makes me a bit sad, but I can't really change it... especially the part with my social life sometimes kind of makes me depressed... but I guess I have to live with it, at least for now...

Another depressing trend I saw this year was generative AI, which I don't really talk about here, but it's also really bothering me. Especially AI "art", which I now kind of see everywhere. And it's not just social media. On my birthday I got a bag with a cat print on it that looked AI generated. Or recently, where I went with my family through a Christmas market, and there was a stall that sold paintings that looked like AI. Like for those who don't know, besides food stalls Christmas markets often also have small sellers who sell their handmade-stuff there. And it's nice, it kinda fits the Christmas vibe. But now there are also people selling things that are AI-made, and people who don't know about it (or people who don't care, which many are) still buy it...

In any case, kind of the last thing I did this year was Drawing December, which was kind of like an advent calendar except not named like that. Never in my life have I drawn so much than in this month. It was fun often times, but sometimes I just couldn't get an image to look right, and since it was a daily thing and I didn't want to spend more time on it, I just published it online, so there are a few drawings that I don't really feel happy about. But there are also some that I like how they turned out, like today's one that's at the bottom of this entry! I definitely do want to improve my art (more on that on the new year's entry), but I don't know if I'd do a challenge like that again (or maybe do it a bit different). In any case it was a nice experience, and I was happy that I did it.

Now onto my song of the year, "It's gonna be a hit": PPPP by TAK. Looking back at the year, there are many great songs, but none that really stood out to me. Except PPPP. When I say the teaser of it, I was already really hyped. I mean TAK is known for banger songs, and it's Miku and Teto! But then it came out, I thought "it's alright". But now for some reason I'm really in love with it. I mean the dynamic between the two, not to mention the cute outfits they both have in the MV. (Sometimes I forget that Teto is canonically 31 lol)
Though a very close runner-up would be BIRD BRAIN by Jamie Paige. I don't think I have to explain it, but that song is also amazing. The lyrics of the song, the MV, and the music...

And with that the year is almost over. It was my most active year online, and I got to experience things I never imagined before. Even IRL there have been some big changes (I mean legal transition is a big thing after all), but it still felt like there could've happened more... In any case, I hope you had a great 2025, and I hope you had fun reading this (rather long) entry. Have a great day or night~ ☆

Merry Christmas everyone!!

Except for some reason I don't really feel festive... I tried listening to some Christmas songs (mostly Snow Miku songs and some anime Christmas songs like the one from Toradora or Snow Halation) and also made some Christmas drawings, but this year I couldn't really get into the Christmas mood, even now... maybe that has to do with some things being different this year, or my mental health... (though that's something I don't really want to talk about here)
As for the presents I got this year (or rather I wished for), I got new speakers (my previous cheaper ones were already a decade old and with the new speakers... wow I didn't know what I was missing out on. Everything sounds so much better now), a new drawing pen, and also new keyboard switches! (Now typing on my keyboard feels really nice~, and it also sounds really nice, though I still need to get a bit used to them) One slight issue I had with my new speakers though was that they had some buzzing sound on them, which I found out was caused by some desk lights I have. (I thought we were already over these kind of issues?) I moved the desk lights a bit, and now that issue isn't really there anymore.

For something else that happened this month, it feels like Stardust & Fox Ears suddenly got much more attention, which was a surprise! It makes me happy that people are interested in my silly (and emotional) story, and I want to thank everyone who read it! The next chapter should (hopefully) come out in the next days! (Hopefulyl still this year)
Also I have a drawbox now if you haven't seen it yet, and I don't know who it was, but someone left a really nice drawing of Amelia there! Whoever it was, thank you very much for it!! It made my day!! <3 (Though I'm happy for every drawing someone makes there!)

Oh right, I also had to do a presentation this month. Well I was already dreaded for presentations (probably because I really sucked at them at the start of university), but now I've gotten much better at them, and while I still am not perfect at it (and still dread them a bit), I'm not that anxious about them as I used to. This one went fairly okay (although we were a bit overtime), but we still have to write that seminar paper there, and it's also the first time for me writing a seminar paper, so... yeah... (my biggest issue is writing it in a "scientific language") I don't know how things will be once I have to write my bachelor thesis... though that's a issue for future me...
Also in a month I have to write exams again, so I already need to learn for them (especially since they're a bit earlier this semester), which also means less time to work on other things...

Drawing December is also going smoothly! Though it is a bit more time consuming than I expected it. See I was planning to draw each image for about 30 minutes, but it still ends up to more like 1-2 hours, depending on the character. But because of that time limit I also sometimes rush a few drawings, which is why I'm also not really happy with how some of them turned out... (did I really forget to draw Sophia's tail on the first day again? And forgot to color her back hair??) (If you're wondering, I already fixed that, since it did bother me too much)
But one positive thing out of it is that I feel a bit more confident in my art style, and I can also draw a bit quicker now, especially Sophia, which I can draw more quick now! I don't know yet if I'll do another Drawing December or something similar next year, but I guess I'll see!

Since it's Christmas, the song of the month will also be a Christmas song! Snow Song Show by sasakure.UK and DECO*27! Maybe you already know that song, but if not, it's a nice Miku Christmas song where Miku saves Christmas! There's also the cover by Ado that is also very popular and also really great!

And that's it for this month! Okay the month isn't fully done yet, but I wanted to write an end-of-the-year entry at the end of the year (which is in less than a week!), so I'll be back there again! Until then, have a nice Christmas (if you celebrate Christams) and a nice day or night ☆

It's slowly becoming winter now, and I forgot how cute it feels to wear winter clothes and to wear a scarf and hide your face in it. Though it's also a bit sad that the year is almost over...

If you haven't noticed it yet, at the start of the month I decided to go with a new name online: Kona!! I already explained it a bit in this miniblog post, but the reason for a name change was that when I launched this site, and even before that, I used my real name online. But a while back I thought that it would be probably wise to not use my real name online, so that's why I went with my username WhirrFox only. But then I noticed that referring to me with my username alone was a bit awkward. So that's why I tried to come up with a new name (I'm really bad at coming up with new names), and at the end I was deciding between Fuki and Fukko. Fukko is a bit related to Fokko, which is the Japanese name for the Pokémon Fennekin, and Fuki was a short form of Shirakami Fubuki. I was going with Fuki, but then I stumbled upon the name Kona, and immediately knew that was the right one. So I went with it, and I'm really happy with it~ :3.
To be honest, I don't really care if my real first name is out there online, but I guess I wouldn't want that name to be that easy to find? So yeah, I'm happy with Kona now~! As I explained it in that miniblog, if you know me by my real name, that's totally fine by me, and you can keep calling me that. But publicly I'd want to be referred to as either Kona or WhirrFox, or both (which is what I'm currently using on many platforms).

I also made the music journey page this month! Not much to add here, but one thing that I found kind of unexpected was seeing how I listened and liked Aiobahn's music from when I first started listening to music (excluding radio pop songs that is the only music you know as a child, but I wouldn't say I was actually listening to music back then). Like I really liked his music when he was in Monstercat, and I still like his newer songs. Also I don't think many of his current fans know him from Monstercat, so I guess I can feel special about that~?
And one thing I realized while writing this entry was that I also listen to Snail's House for that long too, so another artist that I follow for a long time (though Aiobahn was there earlier). Although for some reason I don't listen to Snail's House music that often nowadays, but still occasionally.

And I also finally reworked my about me page!! I never really liked it, but now I'm happy with it! I also finally found out about border-image (and this article that helped me), and made things much easier than what I did before with these boxes (which currently are a bit complex with using grids). And I also updated my OCs page and added all characters from Stardust & Fox Ears there.

I also wanted to improve the journal a bit. I thought it'd be a nice idea to give each journal year a theme (which is just so that it doesn't look boring if you just have year numbers on it). So I had the idea to have a small character that represents each year. And what better theme is there than to base it on the Chinese zodiac! This year was the year of the snake, so it means here's the mascot of this year:

2025

I'll do this for each year going forward. There are 12 zodiac animals, which means it'd take me 12 years to come back to the snake. Honestly I don't know if I'll still have this site in 12 years, or if I'll continue to have that journal (even though both are long-term projects for me), or even how I or the world will be in 12 years... kinda scary to think about it, but I guess for now I should focus on today. Also I never really was interested in the Chinese zodiac, but for the journal I thought it'd perfectly fit. I also looked more into it, and it looks like I was born in the year of the sheep. According to one source online, the sheep is docile, mellow, and timid, and it's said that people born in the year of the sheep are gentle, calm, and decent, and sometimes can be naive and emotional, which I guess kinda fits me? But I don't really know anything about zodiacs or fortune-telling in general, so don't ask me.

I also finished Kemono Teatime this month, and I do plan to write a blog post about it, since it's a game that did kinda left an impact on me, since it's very emotional. It does cover darker and emotional topics though, which I kinda find frustrating, since the game does present itself as a cute tea café game with ASMR sounds and nice music by Snail's House, but I guess it makes it special and also think more about life? So if you're fine with that, and it's your cup of tea (pun intended), you can try playing the demo, or buy the game (content warning: illness, death, loss of someone important). Or you can read the blog post once I write it (which I'll try to split in non-spoilers/demo spoilers and full game spoilers sections).

IRL hasn't much happened. Just a bit more studying, a few assignments to hand in, and working more on this site. And a (family) birthday party that made me remember how I can't really handle larger groups and cameras. Like there was that one person that constantly walked around the room and took pictures of everything and everyone. And it made me remember how much I hate cameras and being photographed. And with such gatherings I also never really know what to do, and just end up sitting there and getting bored and kinda wasting my time...

But for something more positive now! Song of the month is Roll Cake Curly - Whirly! by Pochi Koronoe & Nanahira! I guess I do have a weakness for songs with cute sounds (the "kuru kuru" in the refrain), and I guess it's no secret I'm a huge Nanahira & Pochi Korone fan. The song is really cute after all and also the MV (like many of their songs are). I mean seeing them roll the cake... very cute!! A song that'll make you smile! (I wanted to include this song last month, but due to Halloween I waited until this month)

I kinda feel like this site could have a few more stickers, which is why I decided to make an advent calendar with a new sticker every day, starting tomorrow! I needed to find an excuse to draw more, and I feel like an advent calendar sounds like the perfect idea for that. I'm aiming to make each sticker rather quick, so that I can do it daily, so don't expect too much quality-wise (I also still suck at drawing >.<). But you'll be able to suggest characters (which I may draw), and you'll also be able to use the stickers on your site if you want! (Just credit me).

I'll also handle this journal a bit different next month. I'll release the December entry a bit earlier (like after Christmas), and then at the end of the year I'll be doing a small year recap! (Though it might get a bit longer lol) And like this year I'll also probably to a small new year post, but that'll be in the 2026 journal. Oh right, I'll continue doing this journal for the next year too, since I found it always nice to write a bit on what happens in my life or on this site.

In any case, I hope you had fun reading this entry, and have a nice day or night~ ☆

You already notice it being autumn, because it's getting colder, leaves falling down, storms, and Halloween (and getting a cold :<). Welcome back to another journal entry!

But before we get started...

Okay, here you go~

I thought about making this site Halloween-themed, but not only was it too late when that idea came, but I'm also not that much into Halloween. I mean Halloween sounds like a fun event, where you dress yourself as something spooky, and then get treats, but I personally don't have any experience with it, and I also wouldn't have anyone I could celebrate it with IRL (and no I won't go on a Halloween party, since I'm not a party person, which I realized again after I went to a Halloween party a few years ago).
My idea for a Halloween-themed site would've been to have it more witch-themed (like Sophia in that picture), since I really love witches (the young anime type ones - didn't I already tell that before?), but I'd want to celebrate witches all-year long, not just on Halloween. But I guess they're not really that scary, so they wouldn't fit that well? Maybe I'll think of something for Halloween next year! And maybe I won't forget to add anything for Christmas this year!

Back to uni though... last time I wrote how I had to do a presentation this semester. Well that wasn't completely right... yes we do need to hold a group presentation, but on a seminar paper, that we also have to write in a group... Honestly I already had to do a small presentation in that seminar, and that went fairly fine. But having to write a seminar paper sounds hard... and sure that seminar is there so that it's all in smaller steps, but having to write 9 pages full of text sounds hard... I'm already worried over how the bachelor thesis will go, since that's even longer, but that's a problem for future me~ (I don't want to think about that yet)
But one good thing about uni now is that I finally was confident enough to draw a bit!! I partly drew there the picture above, the picture for Miya, and also sketched my new cute button there~ :3

Speaking of my new cute button, I also had my first site anniversary this month!! And I finally decided to update my button~!
As you may have already noticed, I kinda suck at pixel art. And a button only is 88x31 pixels. So I made the first button in Aseprite (I was more into pixel art in the past and also started working on some pixel art games, though they never saw the light of day, but I still use Aseprite from time to time) and the end result was like that. But I was never fully happy with it.
So for the anniversary, I decided to rework my button! This time I drew it 10x the resolution and then later scaled it down. And I could also easier do the animation that way, and I also spend more time on the button and also had many different versions of it until I landed on the final one. I also removed the scrolling background from the previous one, since for whatever reason it made the file about 3x bigger, for something that wouldn't be that noticeable.
And now I have a very cute button~! <3

And yesterday I also got these two cute figures!!

I kinda forgot how nice the experience is ordering from an anime store. I mean, I also got a postcard, some stickers and a small biscuit! And sure it's all branding from the store, but it's really cute and I still find it really nice~

Song of the month has to be a Halloween themed one, and there are two that come to mind, but let's go with this one: Monster, covered by OKFAMS.
It's surprising to have a Hololive song here. I was really into Hololive in the past, also own a Mio Nendo (it was really cute and I couldn't resist), and while I'm not really into it anymore and don't know the people from the newer generations (everything past Advent), I still often listen to Hololive songs (and often get recommended them), and I still really much love this cover by OKFAMS (Okayu, Korone, Fubuki, Ayame, Mio & Subaru). I love the MV, I love their designs, and I don't know why, but the song gives me a special feeling and it's really Halloween-themed. Though weirdly I only listen to it during Halloween time.
I know the cover for years now, but for this journal post I also looked up the original song, and apparently it's a very popular song (with almost 70 million views, wow...) from an idol group called ARASHI, which apparently is one of the most popular male idol groups there. (I don't know much about Japanese idol groups, don't judge me) But the original song also gives me a special feeling, like the cover, but in a different way, and I find that very interesting.

And that's it for this month. Happy Halloween again, and have a nice day or night~ ☆

Thanks for the 50 followers!!!

Hello everyone, welcome back to a new journal entry~! ☆

This month my semseter break ended, and seeing how I haven't done many productive things (for some reason), I decided to...do more productive things the last few weeks of my break. Most of which were on the site, like reworking the sidebar (which I planned for a while now), and also making the super cute cursor!!
I don't really have experience drawing so small images, and I also don't have any experience drawing chibi-like characters. I did try to draw as I normally would, but I couldn't manage to make it look more chibi-like (which I thought would fit best for such a small image). Then I tried using the sketch I made and just drawing over it and turning it into the image, which as you can see below did work well:

So now I'm the proud owner of having a cute cursor on a cute site~ :3
I also managed to rework the sidebar, and I think it also looks cuter now~
Sadly I didn't manage to do much other things during the break (like work on Stardust & Fox Ears, which also kinda went on a break there for some reason, but I'm still working on the next chapter, which hopefully will be out soon~!), but I think that I still managed to do a few things~

And as you already read, university has started for me again (yay...), which I guess is both good and bad? Like obviously I'll learn new stuff (even if most of it isn't that interesting this semester), but bad because I have to hold a presentation in a group again...
But now I have also long breaks during my lectures, which I have to fill somehow... Which I currently do with doing homework and writing. This also hopefully means I'll write more chapters for Stardust & Fox Ears! (I'd also love to draw during the breaks, but I don't feel confident enough to do that)

Back to something more positive though, I've finally completed A Hat in Time, and by that I mean I managed 110% there! Most challeneges from "Seal the Deal" were fine, but the boss fights for example... there were definitely some very difficult ones (like I struggled with the bird boss collab fight and the final final boss rush). All in all I really enjoyed that game. I haven't done all achievement yet, and I'm not sure if I can do all of them (especially the online ones and the ship one), but I think I'll maybe take a (small?) break before tackling them.

And I also finally completed Tokyo Mew Mew! Normally I don't watch older anime (I did try to watch Sailor Moon, but dropped it at some point), but I did finish Tokyo Mew Mew (which is a decade older than Sailor Moon, but still feels old), and even though it took quite a while (for some reason I took a longer break there), I finally was able to complete it! The characters were all interesting, and the end fight was also interesting to watch, though I don't really like the ending? Spoilers: I didn't like how at the end they still returned to their Mew Mew tasks, which I guess is a predictable ending, but I guess it would've been better if they just stayed humans and could live their normal lives? I don't know, maybe it's just me. Also poor Aoyama, like why did he always need to get hurt so much?
That also reminds me that someone in my guestbook wrote that my OC Sophia reminded them of Zakuro, and while there are similarities to their colors and both being kemonomimi, their personalities don't match, and Sophia is a fox, while Zakuro is a wolf. (Fun fact: The color choice for Sophia was more inspired by Patchouli Knowledge, though their designs are still different)

Also for writing, I switched to Obsidian! In the past I was using Obsidian, but then switched to Google Docs, since back then I had synchronization issues. And when I was using Google Docs, and actually getting more into writing, I couldn't switch to Obsidian, because I really liked the comment feature, which I alwasy use extensively. But I finally found a workaround for it: Footnotes! And now I fully switched back to Obsidian for writing.
I don't know why, but I like writing in Obsidian more than in Google Docs. Maybe because it's just Markdown, and that feels easier for me to write, or because I can quickly switch between documents. Or maybe because I can have it look like this:

In any case I'm happy to be back to Obsidian! (At least for writing, I think I'll probably still use Google Docs for things like presentations or collaborative work)

Song of the month is 東京喫茶 (Tokyo Cafe) by CAPSULE, covered by Pochi Korone! I originally found the song through the cover, which is also amazing, but so is also the original song (which is from 2001). Both have an unique vibe, but I think I'd prefer Pochi's version, though both are great! The song itself is about a relaxing day and cafe I think (I'm bad at analysing lyrics). Still it's a nice and relaxing song (both versions are). But now I have "Tokyo kissa" as an earworm...

And that's it for this month!! Next month will also be the first anniversary of this site, which I still can't believe it's been one year since I'm here on the indie web. Well I'll share my thoughts ones I hit that day, and who knows maybe I have more planned~

Have a nice day or night~ ☆

Hello again~! Another month passed, but it feels like not much has happened for me this month, so this entry be more on the shorter side.

I finally released the first chapter of Stardust & Fox Ears this month, and a few weeks later the second chapter, and the reception has been...a bit lacking? I mean, I haven't really promoted it, since it probably sucks, and I guess it's also meant more of a secret thing, so I guess that makes sense. But I'll still try to complete it nonetheless. I haven't decided yet how many chapters I'll release, but I guess I'll not make it too long. And who knows, maybe more people will come and enjoy it later on~

Then I also started to play A Hat in Time again! I played it a few years ago on Switch, but the Switch version is kinda poor, with very long loading times and not so great performance. But since I wanted to play the game again, and since I now own a Steam Deck, I thought I'd play it again on the Steam Deck, and the experience is amazing!
For those who don't know the game, it's a cute 3D platformer, and even though the story isn't anything special, I still find it charming.
My idea was to 100% the game, and maybe even get all achievements. But to get all achievement I'd need to complete "Seal the Deal", which is a mode where you play the levels with added challenges. And I've heard that they're really difficult. So maybe I won't complete that mode... I guess I'll see how bad it'll be, and then decide on what to do...

My brother also hosted a party this month, and I don't really want to talk about the party, but one thing that kinda annoyed me was that his friends referred to me as "your sibling", instead of something more normal like "your sister". And since it was German, they used "Geschwisterteil", which is a formal way to say sibling, as supposed to something like "Geschwisterchen". The German word for sister is "Schwester", much easier to say and less awkward than "Geschwisterteil". I bet my brother is responsible for that. I don't know what he tells them about me, and I probably don't want to know that. But since he's kinda transphobic towards me, I could imagine that. (And no, I don't want to keep talking about him, or give him any attention at all...)
(Also why couldn't his guests ask me how to refer to me?? Like is it so hard???)

Anyways...

One special thing I did this month was commissioning art for the first time! I commissioned this cute picture of Sophia from kermit/tiramisu!! They did such a great job, and were also very nice, so thanks again for the work! For now I'm using it as a profile picture on all my socials (if you haven't noticed it yet) :3

And the song of the month is this time a Touhou fan song! (This month I've listened to more Touhou songs for some reason) "Wish a Shooting Star" by Shinra-Bansho. The MV of this song released this month, and wow, the visuals look amazing, and I also like the theme of the lyrics.

Finally, today's also Miku's and Nanahira's Birthday, so I drew a picture with both of them!!

And that's it for this month! Like I said earlier, not that much happened this month, but still some things I guess? Have a nice day or night~! ☆

Hello everyone~! :3 This month was still very hot (and rainy), and it was also quite artsy~!!

July means Art Fight, and this year I participated in my first ever Art Fight!
If you don't know, Art Fight is a event every July where people are split into two teams and fight each other with art! (You can also attack people from your own team) And the team with the most points wins. Though I don't really care that much about the team aspect and enjoy more the fact that you attack other people with drawing their OCs, and they attack you with drawing your OCs.
At the time of publishing this, Art Fight just ended, and it was quite fun! I didn't mange to attack as many people as I initially planned, but it was still fun to attack the few people I did. And it also felt really nice to receive art back from others (and from some that I attacked). I hope everyone enjoyed my attacks! (I did hear from most of them, but not from all) Though it also felt like my attacks were often a hit and miss with my artstyle. Like there are drawings I'm really happy with, but others that could've been better. I guess that's something I could try to improve for next time.
Also I didn't receive that much art for my other OC Alice, which is fine. Her design already was kinda rushed for Art Fight. That's why I'll update and spend more time on it and make her look more cute and more unique~.
But overall I really enjoyed this event and will probably participate again next year (if I have the time for it, which I hopefully will).

I also managed to write the last exams this month! I guess they went pretty well for me~ :>

Then there was also my birthday! Though this year's birthday kinda felt disappointing... I don't know if it was because I got a gift with a print that looks AI-generated (which will probably only happen more often :c), but this year's birthday kinda felt...wasted? Like a birthday is usually something special, but this year it didn't feel that special for me? And I don't really know why, but I guess I just have to move on from it...

Song of the month for me would definitely be "Tales of Tails". This is the ending theme of the game "GIRLS MADE PUDDING", which I completed this month, and the ending theme is one of the cutest things I've ever seen, especially the part where they jump out from every side of the screen. The game has a similar vibe to "Girls Last Tour" (with the difference that the girls are more mature, and it's a game, and obviously other things that I won't spoil), I also made this month, so if you liked that, you'll probably also like this one! I also wrote more about it on my new game page page, which I also made this month!

And at the end I have a small announcement: The story I've been teasing about now has a name: "Stardust & Fox Ears"! And I'll release the first chapter...tomorrow!!

A person, who got quite unlucky and feels trapped in a life she despises, gets visited by a magical creature, who invites her to become a witch. She turns into a foxgirl and starts visiting a magical academy, where she hopes she'll be able to start her life anew.

This is my first time writing a story, so don't expect too much, but I'm having fun writing this! It'll be a bit silly and lighthearted, but also contain some "serious" elements. I'm worried if the format I'm going with this story will be received well, since it's rather unique, but I just hope it'll go well. And I also hope that you'll enjoy it too~!!

And that's it for this month. A bit of a smaller entry this time, but I guess that's not a huge issue. Have a nice day or night~ ☆

Hello everyone~! Hope you had not such a hot month like me (I already hate the heat, ugh!!! Like why does it need to be 30+°C?????). This month was kinda stressful for me, but also kinda rewarding?

If you haven't heard or seen yet, I've legal transitioned!!!! Yay!!!!! After waiting for 5 months, I finally was able to legal transition. And it only has been stressful since then...
I already wrote some things here about it on my site, but here's a small recap:

• I tried getting a new ID card, but there was some trouble there. I even wrote a blog post out of frustration (though it looks like it's getting a bit better now with the situation - I hope). I still need to wait a few weeks for my updated ID card though...
• I also went and updated my bank info, where I had to visit the bank physically (nothing wrong with that). But then I got pressured into buying some products (most notably a disability insurance, where I even had to unwillingly share my height and weight - and I couldn't say no). This experience wants me to think of switching my bank (like an online bank, where I wouldn't have an "advisor" whose only purpose is to sell me stuff). Though I'm still giving me time to make that switch.
• The other companies/institutes were kinda effortless. Like I just send them the document, and they immediately updated it. Especially my university (where my deadname bothered me the most) updated my info just an hour later after contacting them.

So yeah, a bit eventful, but I guess the positive thing is that now I don't have to see my deadname on documents anymore. Otherwise I haven't felt much about this change though, and I'm still a bit worried if it was a right decision to legal transition before starting HRT (as I still look like a man and still get misgendered by strangers), but I guess you could also say that I laid the foundation here, so... (And also, I can't do anything about the difficulty and length of getting HRT in my country.)

Also I did manage to hold the presentation!! I still can't believe how often you have to give out presentations in university (although I guess it's normal?). But going to an intermediate school and giving out a presentation to 10th graders wasn't what I thought would happen this semester. But I did give the presentation, and I guess it was okay? Like I do feel like I'm getting better with this whole presentation thing, and that's a good thing. I guess it was an interesting experience, and now I can finally relax more since I don't have to worry about the presentation anymore (which is also a weird feeling, since before I constantly worked and stressed on the presentation, but now it's just away from me... does that make sense?)
But now it's exam time again, and today I had my math exam. And I guess it was fine? Like I completed most tasks (sadly not all, since I didn't knew what to do with some tasks >.<), and I think I'll probably get a good grade.

As for song of the month, I guess this time I have two song! And both also fit pride month.
The first song would be "Telecaster B Boy" by Three (also known as Surii). It's probably the most-known trans Vocaloid song there is. But until a week ago or so, I didn't know why it was a trans song. And when YouTube recommended me the song again, I had to look deeper into it.
I'm not the best when it comes to analyzing songs, but I think I finally understood the song. Like I do feel like if you look closer at the MV, you do notice trans themes (and how they get rejected by the jury if they try to be themselves, but get accepted once they fall back to their AGAB representation). Though I still don't really understand who that "telecaster b boy" is that they're constantly calling in the song, or why they dance so much.

And while I was looking more into it, I stumbled upon the song "i can’t be a floret" by Harumaki Gohan. Another translation of the title (according to vocadb) is "I'll Never Become a Lovely/Pretty Girl", where the title alone says what the song is about. And I don't know if it's because of Harumaki Gohan's voice or something, but the song kinda makes me feel emotional. And it also makes it feel relatable. Some parts of the lyrics do hit hard, like "Why can't we choose our own bodies?" or "I have nothing at all so I'm just watching, watching you", or the chorus "I can't be a floret, I know it all along". I don't know how I missed that song (or other trans songs in general), but I'm kinda glad to have found it.

And I guess with that pride month also has ended now. Sadly I didn't really do anything pride-related this month. I heard some pride parades happening around me, but I didn't go to a single one, because...well I'm quite shy and have social anxiety, so that's not really easy for me to go to such a place...especially alone...which I guess is quite sad...(like how I've never been to an anime convention before for similar reasons, but that's a different topic)

Also I'll participate in Art Fight this year! (Link if anyone's curious, though you need an account to look at my profile there)
Currently I only have my foxgirl OC Sophia there, but I'll also add a second character the world hasn't seen before that'll also become an important character in my story that I'm currently writing where I still haven't come up with a good name... (why is picking names so hard?)
I'm still a bit anxious about it, since it's my first time doing Art Fight, and I guess I'm not that confident in my art skills? And I also don't think I'll attack that many people? I mean I'm just there for the fun of attacking other people and getting attacked yourself, so I guess I'll just see how it'll go. And next month I can report on it~.

So have a happy day or night~ ☆

Thanks for the 25 followers!!!

Hello again! This time a bit later than usual, since I was busy, and there's also now a girl who's stealing my time (fantasy life).

Last time I talked about the Miku keychain I bought. I put it on my uni bag, and it does look really cute there~. Now guess how many people have said anything about it to me: zero...
yeah I kinda was expecting that. I don't know if it's a good thing or not. I thought it could've been a great conversation starter, but that obviously wasn't the reason why I put it there. I'm still very happy to have it there, and happy that I can proudly show Miku like this~ <3.

This month I also did this cute Sophia animation you've probably already seen:

Although it didn't always look like that...

I don't know how, but I somehow forgot to draw her tail... (Reminds me of another artist who also forgot to draw their OCs tail and kinda found it funny, but now it happened to me, which I guess is also kinda funny) So I stayed a bit longer awake to fix it, and now she has her tail back~! :>

At the end of the month, I finally decided to buy a Steam Deck!! The OLED one to be precise.
I always kinda wanted to have one, but never saw a real reason to buy one (since I already have a Switch). Then the Switch 2 announcement came with its price announcements, and... I don't really like the direction Nintendo is going, and I don't want to pay €70 or €80 for a game, and the currently announced games don't really excite me. I guess in general Nintendo doesn't really excite me (except maybe the announced Rhythm Heaven and Tomodachi Life games that'll come for the Switch; I guess my taste has just changed over the years).
And yes the announcement was a while ago and the Switch 2 will already release in a few days, but I guess it took some while for me to convince myself to finally make the purchase, but I'm glad I did. I'm thinking of putting a skin on it to make it look more cute (and personal), but haven't looked too deep into that yet. (Since, well, I only have it for a few days now)

One surprise this month was that Mimiya drew Sophia!! You can look it up in the guestbook if you want, but she's really, really cute!!! (Thanks again Miya <3)

Speaking of art, I'm thinking of joining Art Fight this year! I've never participated in it and only know the gist of it, but it sounds like a fun concept, and I have the time for it, so why not? Drawing others OCs and getting art from others does sound exciting~ :3

But before that I'll need to hold a presentation again (ugh...) in front of 10th graders, possibly in front of more than 100 of them (ugh...). This time I thankfully didn't start working on it a few days before the presentation, and I guess I feel more confident and happy in this presentation than the previous two ones (where I also wasn't that happy with the topics), but yeah it'll still be kinda...scary... But I guess I'll do it without any issues...hopefully...

Lastly the song of the month: "Bokurano Network" by DAOKO. This month I've been kinda feeling nostalgic about Dragalia Lost, a mobile gacha game that somehow was never released in most parts of Europe that died a few years ago, that I loved. And this was one of the home screen themes (I think it was the default one?) of the game. And every time I listen to it, I get reminded of the game and the characters and how they'd vibe to the music or walk around town. Maybe I'll write a blog post about this game at some point. I know there are private servers for the game, and I thought about trying them out at some point, but in any case the game is still dead... And I don't think Nintendo will ever revive this IP... And I guess Dragalia is really Lost... yeah...

And I think that's it for May. I already hate how hot it's getting, but it'll get even hotter, so yeah...not really nice...

In any case, thanks for reading this entry, and have a nice day or night~ ☆

Hihihi! This month surprisingly few things happened (at least the things I can remember), but this post still ended up longer than I expected :3.

Over eastern, I went on vacation with my family! We went to the Netherlands, and also spend a day in Amsterdam! Look, I even bought this cute Miku keychain (not in Amsterdam):

Amsterdam was an interesting city (it was my second time there) and I was surprised how openly queer some people there (even some tourists, is that normal in a big city? or is that more specific to amsterdam? probably that). And it was crowded (especially at the main train station), but it wasn't a huge issue for me (but my family bothered it really).

What was more stressful was the parking situation. It was app-based for one, and we had to enter a phone number to start parking and open the gate. But when we hit the open button, a car from inside drove out, which closed the gate. We were stuck outside with the app starting to count, and no way to open the gate again or cancel it. So we had to call the hotline, and thankfully the person was helpful and opened the gate for us, but it was still a stressful and anxious situation where I was in panic the whole time. Thankfully paying and driving out wasn't a problem.

What I also haven't seen before is people not paying for the metro and just running through the gate when you scan your ticket there. That was a surprise, but I mean, it's not my problem, right? (One of them even said "Thank you" to me while he ran up the escalator)

So did I enjoy the vacation? Maybe? Not really? I don't know why, but I was in a bad mood most of the time there. I'm also a bit disappointed in myself for not going into any anime stores in Amsterdam. Yes I'm happy that I got the Miku in a different town, but still I would've wanted a bit more.

Moving to less depressive things: I've been working a bit on my story this month, but it's still not really ready to be published. I guess the theme of it is already done, and the first chapter is also mostly done (I probably won't change the writing, but I still need to draw images for it). I still need to work on the presentation side and I still can't really tell when it'll be done, but I hope it'll be done at some point. (I don't want to promise things and later have to retract them)

And at last, the song of the month: "You Me Me" by r-906. I really love the vibe this song gives off. I first listened to it when it came out at the start of the month, but only today did I learn more about it. First of all, it's a demo song for a new voice bank called LeuR, illustrated and voiced by... rurudo??? That rurudo?????
Yes, I also couldn't really believe it at first. For those who don't know, rurudo is a well-known artist who also does vtubing. And earlier this month a VoiSona (previously CeVIO, think of IA) of her called LeuR released, and she's super cute and has such a nice voice~. Her personality is being a computer virus, and she's inspired by 2000s internet culture, so really great stuff. I'd recommend looking her up if that sounds interesting. Her website is also very interesting and cool, though it's in Japanese, so you'd probably need a translator if you don't understand Japanese (like me). But even so it's nice to look at.
And something I also only found out today is that if you scan the QR code from the music video, you can have your own LeuR riding a scooter in your world!

I really wish I knew these things when they happened earlier this month, and I kinda regret not looking them up earlier. But I guess it's good that I did it now, right?

And that's it for this month. This entry was longer than I thought it'd be (since I didn't had many things noted for this month), but that's not a bad thing.

Have a great day or night~ ☆

Another month, another journal entry I guess. This time a bit earlier, but I hope it's not a problem~ (Thanks for the 5k 6k visits btw!!) (Also today's daylight saving, and I love daylight savings...)

As I already mentioned in the last entry, I was at a bigger family event, and first time going with more feminine clothes than usual. And well... I guess it was the same as usual? Maybe I had my expectations too high (probably that), but it was as if nothing was different. What kinda surprised me was how little I got misgendered. Only twice! Sure not many people talked to me, but I'd say it was still a success! Otherwise I was sitting alone the whole time during the "party" (do you call family gathering in a restaurant a party?) and bored, but somehow I survived it~ ^w^.

Then there was Miku day (which I thankfully didn't forget this year~ ^w^, unlike the years before), and I drew Miku! You can see it here if you want to. I guess there's not much special to it?

A few weeks after that family event came another family gathering, but this time a bit smaller. It was at a restaurant, and for some reason they played the same few songs there every few minutes. Like I don't know how often I was forced to listen to Binding Lights or that other song which name I don't know. And there was that one photographer who always bothered me with his camera and shutter sound and just his presence alone. Like I generally feel a bit awkward in front of a camera (maybe because I'm trans and not happy with my body yet? Or the feeling of people watching at these pictures forever?), and when someone walks around with a camera all the time, it just makes me uneasy.
But one thing that was kinda interesting was hearing how one of the person, after my parents explained him me being trans, that he knew a relative who was trans guy, which was interesting to learn that there's at least one person in our family who's also trans, even though he's farther related and I'll probably never meet him.

This month I was kinda obsessed with Minecraft for some reason? And for some reason I also decided to build a statue of Sophia in my world!

Oh, and I also finally made a skin based on Sophia, including real fox ears and tail!

If you've noticed in the pictures, I already made a statue of Ookami Mio in the past, and I don't know why I did it, but I guess I did. (I guess I just like her design, okay? And she has a great voice. And I even have a figure of her, because she looked so cute. But I don't really watch VTubers anymore.)
One thing you'd also notice is that I planted many cherry trees there. And that was harder that you'd realize. First of all the trees would grow in the wrong direction, blocking the view or path. So I'd need to remove them, wait until the leaves have gone, and then try again. But what was even more bad was the whole pink petals that are on the ground. Because yes, they don't grow with the trees, you have to plant them yourself. And also gather them. At first, I used bonemeal directly on them, but that was really inefficient. Then I found out you can get them while using bonemeal on grass in a cherry biome, so I quickly designed & build a farm to make new pink petals, which was much faster and much more efficient (though there are probably more efficient farms - I just was too lazy to look for a tutorial and designed one myself). But nonetheless I'm happy with the end result~ :>.

And at the end of the month my semester break ended, so now I have uni again. And the first week was...same as usual? Like nothing has really changed for me, which I kinda find boring? Though at the same time nothing has gone worse, which I guess is a plus.

As for the story, I'm still working on it, and can't say when the first chapter will be published. Well it'd definitely be released when it's done, but currently there are still many things to work on there, so it could still take some time. Though I'd say the first chapter is pretty much done writing, but I still need to work on the presentation of it. I have a unique idea of how to present it (well maybe it's not that unique), and I really hope it'll work out. But there are still some things to do there.

I also completed Maho Girls Precure and also finally Magilumiere after letting that sit for a while. Magilumiere had a nice concept, but I found the end to be a bit rushed. Though it has a second season announced, so it'd be interesting to see how that'll turn out. As for Maho Girls, I'd say it's currently my favorite Precure (though I haven't seen that many yet), and I could write many things about it here, but this entry is already too long, so I'd probably make a seperate blog or miniblog entry about it~.

And now let's end this entry with a song (because why not): Reminiscence by technoplanet. It takes place in a café and it's about nostalgia and looking at the past. The word Reminiscence means to look back at memories and experiences, and I think the song does it in a cute way. Like, without going too much in-depth to the lyrics, how the song uses black and sweetened coffee to symbolize not being ready with adulthood, or one line where the singer talks about wanting to feel excited about mundane tasks like buying bananas at the supermarket. The song also gives off a nice café atmosphere, and I kinda find it a shame how it's not really known.

And that's it! Have a nice day or night~ ☆

Hello again~! :3

First of all, what happened with the introduction last time? It was supposed to be a reference to a game, but it somehow ended up becoming some weird gibberish, and I'm sorry if that confused anyone. I also don't know why it took me 10 days to notice that issue. It definitely was a bit embarrassing, and I hope it won't happen again >.<.

This month I updated my homepage a bit! It wasn't that much, but I hope it doesn't look that boring now ^w^. But now you can also headpat Sophia!! (Something I'm a bit proud of and probably have mentioned too many times already)

Last time I also talked about how I had exams and presentations to do. And I can say that I'm done with them! Though the presentations were kinda awful...
For context, I had to do two 15 min. Presentations (while learning for the exams), and hold them on two subsequent days (thankfully one week after the exams). Because I couldn't decide on a topic for both of them until like a week before the presentations (Yeah I suck at picking topics when you have free choice), I started working on the presentations rather late. And that meant working all day on the presentations, without any free time (except breaks), and it sucked... I'm not really good with stress, and it was hard and painful.
And then I had to present them. Both should've been around 15 minutes. The first one I completed in only 5 minutes, while the second one was around 10 minutes. So yeah, not that great... I was also really nervous with both of them. I did probably get a good grade (according to what the professor said), so that's good. But I still can't believe that I planned a 15-minute presentation, and it only went 5 minutes. In my experience presentations are shorter presenting them than practicing them, but never was it this short...

Currently I'm writing a story again (yay!), featuring my cute foxgirl Sophia!! Hopefully this time it'll actually see the light of day. Until now, whenever I tried working on a story, I had the idea and worked on planning it. But when it came into actually writing it, I had some plotholes I didn't know how to fill, and I also got demotivated because of it and at some point I thought my idea wouldn't really work out and then abandoned it. The project I teased a bit on in the first journal entry was also a story, which I later that month scraped. I hope that it'll be different this time, and that I'll actually finish something ^w^. I still need to think a bit on the presentation side (as in how it'll look like on the site), but I think that won't be a huge issue~.

Lastly, I'll go to a bigger family event (around 50 people if I remember correctly?) in a few days in girl clothes, and most people there don't know that I'm a girl, so I guess it'll be interesting? I mean I also don't know most people there, and maybe they don't know me, and maybe I'll pretend that I was always a girl (which is true). But some people who saw me before may be surprised that I'm a girl... I hope I won't steal the spotlight, but yeah, it'll be interesting...

And I think that's about it. For some reason it still feels like there hasn't been that much happening over the last month. Yeah I know it's a strange feeling I have, and I don't know where it really comes from.
It feels like I wasn't able to work that much on this site this month, though that was probably partly because of the exams. But I do want to keep working on the site next month, and I still have many plans on what to do. Though I don't really have a clear vision for the site yet, but I guess I don't need one, right?

Have a beautiful day or night! <3

This month was a bit...uneventful? I mean, I guess it's kinda normal for January to be a bit uneventful, but it does kinda bug me...

First of all, I HIT 2,000 VISITS?? Thank you everyone for that! This definitely was a huge surprise for me. I also bought a domain this month! I always wanted to have one, and I finally did make it happen!!

Another surprise I had this month was when Pudding made some fanart of my OC Sophia! I was really happy, and so I made fanart of their OC as well, and they were also really happy with it! ^w^ Both are cute, so you should check them out! :3

Other than that, there hasn't been much happening IRL. Currently it's exam phase for me, so I have some studying to do and some exams to write in a few days, but not too much. I'm not that scared of the exams themselves, but more about the presentations I have to give... Just thinking about it already gives me anxiety... i haven't even started working on them yet... sigh...

One issue that I still have is that I want to share some things of my life, but I don't know how much I can share and at what point it'd be oversharing and bad. I'm relatively new to this, so I guess I just need more experience with it?

Also I've been thinking of starting to write more regularly instead of only monthly in this journal. It'd probably be about random topics or things that come up in my mind, and they'd be in a separate blog part here. I still need to think about how I want to design it though.

Otherwise, I'll still work on this site, and I still have ideas on what to add. For one it'd be more things similar to the songs i like page (which will get more songs I promise), and other fun things as well!

And I think that's it for January! I hope you had a great time reading this, and have a great day or night~! :3

Happy New Year everyone! I thought it'd be nice to have a little journal on my site, and I thought it'd be nice to start with things I look forward to this year!

This year I plan to progress in my transition and to do legal transition and finally start HRT. Initially I wanted to wait a bit more with legal transition, but since we have elections soon, and one of the parties planning to undo the law that makes it much easier to legal transition, I'm a bit pressured now to do it very soon. I mean I'm a bit scared of reactions from others (like doctors), since I still don't look like a girl, but I hope that won't be a huge issue, and I don't think they'd say something negative about it, right? At least my therapist doesn't think so, so I guess I should be fine. I also hope to finally start HRT this year! I hope it won't take me too long to get a appointment and get it prescribed (I already have a therapist, so that's done), but you never know, especially with doctors...

In regards to social transition, I'd come out to the rest of the family (right now I'm only out to my close family, some relatives, and my uni) and I also really hope that they'll start to use the right pronounces and don't use the word "boys" anymore when refering to me and relatives/family. Like it's nice that they at least use my real name, but I'm a girl, and I want to be referred to as such, and not be seen as "one of the boys". And I also really hate hearing "he" >_<. It makes me feel like they don't see me as a girl, and I guess that's something that often fuels my dysphoria.

And I also hope that I can make more new friends this year! I mean, currently my social life is non-existant, with not having anyone I could call a friend, and being isolated in general, and it's all making me feel very lonely and depressing and sad... But I don't want to go further into this topic today.

I also want to keep working on this site and add more things to it. I also have some plans that involve my OCs, which I'm also currently working on, and I hope to share it soon, so keep an eye on it~!

Thanks for reading this entry, and I hope you'll have a great start for this year~! :3